Youssef´s cave of wonders

Two worlds... the same hate

2006-09-16T12:28:00.000-07:00

I´m really fed up with all this madness... i really can´t understand why people want to declare war against each other, governments, leaders, people their selves are just waiting for the opportunity to jump and destroy the other... is it so difficult to try to understand your neighbour???
I can´t stop hearing about declarations that bother some people and declarations that bother the other, about violent acts, war... aaaaaaaaalways trying to make two worlds get in conflict , always trying to destroy each other and I´m fed up. I don´t understand it , I don´t want to understand why is it so difficult to respect the other, and it seems that our nature never changes, we want war, we want conflict, we want violence, we need to feel that in front of us there´s somebody different from us and its not good, we need to be the only ones... we need to destroy, to erase them...

I can´t watch a single program without hearing about all that hate between people, i can´t read a single newspaper without reading about violence and anger... this is never going to end???

I know i can´t do anything, I´m just a worm in this messy and complicated world, i guess i can´t even say what i think about things because I´m sure there´ll always be someone that is ready to attack what i think, to try to step on me, to jump like an angry tiger over me...

There´s only nonsense and i guess all i can do is to live my life and close my eyes and my ears.

Changing the subject, at last i finished with the course we did or IATA exam, and i think i did fine at least i went out happy from it...tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired but happy after all.
Today i spent my day painting the figure of the pirate i modelled, i think it´ll look fine once its finished, it has a lot of work, well because i want to do it the best i can and I´m entertained doing it.
I called my baby this morning, yesterday she was a little sad and i understand it perfectly but i needed to cheer her up, and when she told me " allo " this morning wow! my heart jumped I felt incredibly happy, listening to her laugh brightened my day. After that she gave me a huuuuuuuuuuge surprise when she conected at lunch time and i could talk to her for a while.
I´ve been alone almost for the whole day, my parents went to a local artisany fair in "Chinchón "( a village not very far from here), so i´ve been here painting and and watching movies, this weekend i´m taking it to relax after the stress of the exam you know :). Besides that i didnt do much, well maybe thinking and thinking... but i guess i can´t fix much with that.
Mum is having a bad days she´s not sleeping well at night, i think is due to unconscious worries about work, my brother.... i really don´t know i just hope she gets better, if not she´ll have to see the doctor.
I think i´ll end up here, i still want to keep painting a little bit more before i loose the inspiration hehehe and of course because i´m impattient for my baby to be online, and i want to finish before she comes :).

YOU don´t know what this is, do you??

2006-09-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

Well as i told you yesterday here is the picture of the figure i modelled, it´s just a little figure to put my mobile in. As you can see is based on the Barbossa character from Pirate´s of the Caribbean movie, I hope you like it :).

As I relized today i dont have enough paint and colours to paint it and let it finished so i gues i´ll have to wait until i can buy some to work on it I guess i´ll do it one of these weekends.

Because for now i have to start studying hard in order to pass my IATA exam on the 14th of September. Appart of that I had a quiet day, though i always get angry everytime i watch TV and i can´t understand why we humans make this world so complicated and how world is so corrupted by interests, prejudges, hate and war... I guess money is the engine of our hearts these days.

OH only thinking on starting going to the course again, even if its only for a week makes me feel tired heheh only thinking on it.. waking up really early, the car, traffic jams, subway...well hamdoulilah is just for a week and after the exam I´ll start working at last.

I´ve been thinking that maybe on weekends on my free time i´ll start modelling as i used to and i´ll start selling my figures again ... maybe the internet market can help me some way, so if anybody out there wants a figure just tell me hahahaha !!!.

I used to sell my works on shops when i was working as a modelling and sculpture teacher, i started selling them when i was in highschool and as i´ve always been working as a freelance i used to sculpt whatever people asked me instead of making my own collections.... but who knows maybe i´ll do it now on weekends. During the week I´ll work on tourism in an agency and on weekends i´ll create some figures to sell and get an extra money :).

I hope my angel had a good day today and everything went fine for her, i´ve been thinking of her for the whole day. She´s starting an internship and i just hope everything went great...I know she´ll do great :P Its not because i´m going to marry her but .... she´s incredibly intelligent :P hehehe and it´s not a compliment she really is and i´m truly truly proud of her, she surprises me everyday, everything seems new by her side and she renovates my illution everytime i talk to her even if its just for a few minutes. No matter what she always makes me feel the most special guy on earth.

Mmmm another thing is that I´m looking forward to watch the spanish movie " El Capitán Alatriste ", is based on the books with the same name from the author " Arturo Perez Reverte ", I like that character a lot and mostlt is because i looooooooooooooove sword fighting :P the action takes place in the " siglo de oro español " between the XVII and XVIII centuries. Well i love it and i almost attended to the casting to appear in the movie hehehe.

Well i think is enough for now I´ll go to pray and eat something :)... salamu alaiiiiiiiiiiiiikum !!!

Searching for the biggest adventure of all...

2006-09-03T14:59:00.000-07:00

Just a little drawing i made this summer... when you´re bored you just entertain with any thing ;)... and of course is dedicated to my precious pearl.

back to rutine... but even more in love !!!

2006-09-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

YES !! i´m here again after a loooooooong time without posting... sorry for taking so long, I went on vacations and then after coming well i was inmerse doing other things and i forgot completely to write here again.

Anyway after all here am I, ready to bother you a little more hehehe.

Where should i begin with mmm let me see... ah yes! as you all can see i went for some days on vacations with my parents, they needed to relax and well as i was going to stay here alone they asked me if i wanted to go with them, because as as you can see i couldnt go to see my baby because of the hard situation she´s living there, so we must be pattient with it and everything will be ok inchallah :). Sooooooo as i was telling i agreed and i went with them to Mallorca, to the North eastern coast called " Costa de los Pinos " ( coast of the pines ), I must say its a really beautiful place and very quiet ;). I had a great time and we had a lot of fun, oh and i took a lot of sunbathing at the beach hehehe i wish i could keep that colour all the time :P , The BAD thing is that i was missing her soooooooooooooooo much, every tiny little thing i visited or did remembered me of her and all i wanted was that she could be with me and enjoy all that as i was doing.

Hamdoulilah our hotel had an internet service so i could buy tickets and that way i was able to talk to her everyday... by the way i called her almost everyday at night because i needed to listen to her voice again and again. We visited many places, wonderful ones, beaches, caves, little villages... i can say we had a great time.

I can´t deny im in love can i ?? hehehe that smile you see is simply because thinking of my angel makes me feel the happiest guy on earth. That night i made a dessert with her name on it and i took a picture to send her buuuuuuuuut my phone didn´t save it :P so i had to prepare another one and eat it hahahaha i ate my baby twice...

The truth is that i couldnt stop thinking of her a single minute of the day and i needed her even stronger. I guess you can see it in my eyes when i feel happy. People who know me know perfectly when im feeling down i guess its true what they say...the eyes are the mirror of ur soul.

Oh and another thing, before going on vacations i ordered a prayer mat via internet and i was looking forward to receive it and finally when i came back home here it was the notification to go to pick it up in the post office... sooooooooooooooo here it is finally i have my new prayer mat and i´m very happy :) .

Well i guess its enough for now, i´m waiting for my angel to be online and i´ll go to drink a huuuuuuge glass of water because i´m dying of hot up here :)

Probably tomorrow i´ll post a picture of a little figure i made ;)

You see... one of those blue days again

2006-08-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, I can´t deny it I´m feeling blue today, a little sad in one of those down days... this is like an attraction park, Disneyworld but deep inside with us and downs. I don´t know why i´m feeling like this again, ooooooooooooook yes I know why but i won´t tell it again or you all will get tired of me.
I´m home alone, my parents when to visit my aunt and uncle again to their appartment in " Pelayos de la presa ". The truth is that i didn´t feel in the mood to go, i didn´t have anything better to do but i really wasn´t feeling like going there :P I just wanted to hide like a crab ad don´t show my self, or hide inside my shell. YES I know i shouldn´t do it, I´m always telling my angel to be strong and look at me hiding like a shy crab.
I went out i took my car and i went going a ride, just that driving... without thinking on anything, then i parked and i saw a sit and i sat there under a tree, for two hours i´ve been without doing anything just sitting just that, me and my thoughts.
I felt alone...well not alone because i know she´s always with me but i needed her presence...just a carisse, a kiss, a sweet word telling me that everything will be ok. Sometimes i can´t stand that feelings, sometimes they just overcome me and take control of my thoughts and my feelings. I know perfectly that it goes, i know it goes once i talk with her... but i feel really alone today.
Many times i pretend that I´m happy because i dont want her to feel bad. i know her situation is much harder than mine... i simply miss her but she has to stand all that pressure, so all i want is to cheer her up and with that i cheer up too.
Many times i think that we have such a strong link, many times I feel bad simply because she´s feeling bad and i know it even without talking to her for the whole day.
I´m waiting until 20:00 to go to the phone booth and call her, i truly hope she feels happy today. It kills my self when i hear that she´s crying because she´s sad, or that she had somekind of problem. Hamdoulilah these days she´s more free to talk when i call her and listening to her laugh again gives me life.

I didn´t even eat, i wasnt feeling hungry at all, just when i came back i ate a little cheese sandwich and a yougurt. I came back at 19:00 from my lonely walk and now i´m just waiting to talk to her, in order to cheer up a bit...

Arrr, me hearties !!!

2006-08-12T14:28:00.000-07:00

Ahoy ! lower the Jolly roger scurvy dogs bring the grog and let´s find the booty !!!

AYE !! finally i watched Pirates of the caribbean ohhhhhhhhhhhhh i had a great time with it , I LOVE PIRATE STORIES !!!! hehehe. I truly enjoyed it... even if its not the same because i don´t have me beauty with me...
:P I´ll have to go to see it at least 5 more times hehehe aye ! i´m crazy :P but last one i saw it on cinema for 7 times :D.

Today I had a lunch with my family again ,we were celebrating my uncle´s mum birthday so we spent the time in my aunt´s, we had a good time... :P and of course i had to prepare the tea as usual hehehe.

Yesterday after talking with my baby i felt like the happiest man on earth, she gives me so much love and when she told me that i´m the man of her life and that she´ll fight for me until the end made me melt and feel incredibly happy. I understand that she feels that hurted because of the comments of her family...they don´t even know me so how can they acuse me of beign a liar... but i really dont care what people think, i just care that she trusts in me completely and that i have her love, with that i know i can overcome everything that gets in my way.
And well today i had an arguing with someone, because he was telling me that how can religions be good if the world goes so badly, that they make people fanatic and intolerant.... i was defending that religion its self is not bad but the use people make of it, no matter what religion is ... people always use it for their own profit and thats what gives bad name to religion .
I just defend that people should live the way the want if that makes them happy, and respecting the other´s way of life of course... for me any of them is good if u dont hurt anyone doing what u want to do.
But people can´t talk badly about something that they don´t even know... i chose to live this way of life and i dont hurt anybody doing it. I want to apply real Islam, and be consecuent with my actions ... and i´d never let anybody play with my ideas, i live my Islam ,what i read and learn from holy Quran and i don´t hurt anybody doing it, its my life, my decisions.

Tomorrow i´ll call my angel again, im truly dying to hear her sweet voice once more :P i called her almost everyday during this week... i really can´t live without hearing her... she´s my drug, my reason to keep waking up every morning. In some days i´ll go with my parents to spend a week in Mallorca ( you know one of the spanish mediterranean islands ), i wish i could be with her, going there and thinking how would be if i could be with her, it kills me.
Nothing is the same now, i can´t enjoy things like i used to. I mean before knowing her i was feeling tooooo alone in this world and i took refuge on the things i liked, but now that i found her the only thing i want is to share things with her, to be at her side, and everything seems meaningless.

Soon I´ll have to go to the office of the travel agency they told me to go on 16th of August to sign the contracts, lets see what are the conditions and when do i start finally, the truth is that i really want to start working, i just hope i do fine :).

Avast ! now is late and i think i should go to bed mateys, just be ready goin´ on the account for our next meetin´ and beware of not gettin´into Davy Jones´locker !!!

YO HO HO...

As a promised...

2006-08-08T15:10:00.000-07:00

Ohhhhh and now look at those cakes :P they were dedicated to me and my baby hehehe look the two little characters its me and she ;D

Birthday boy !!!

2006-08-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

YES ! finally i´m here after some days without giving signals that i´m still alive hehehe... you thought you were getting rid of me..but nooooooooooo way !!!

A little late but yes here is a picture from my birthday party with my family :) aren´t they cute???( Oh I´ll try to post it later now it doesn´t let me I don´t know why ) . 25 years wow time runs, we had a really good time..specially when they all started singing " cumpleaños feliz " :P oh i´m still like a child what can i do, they say that what matters is the spirit you have inside... and i think i still have the spirit of a 13 years old child, and i hope i can keep it for my whole life.

ehhhhh first of all I want to thank aaaaaaaaaall the people who thought of me that day, thank u so much to all of you, i loved the gifts, the messages the cards ...EVERYTHING, thank u so much specially to Alex ( I looooooooooved your arabic lamp thank u so much, well after all this years you´re always there thank u thank u ), Javi... I hope you´re having a great summer ( i hope not too many parties eh??? hehehe ), to Elena and Nuria of course... :D my pirate costume is complete thanks to u both, well and to many others hehehe but as they dont read this blog :P i guess i don´t have to waste space here hehehe they know perfectly who they are. It means a lot for me to know that people think of me that way, that they remember me...well yes even if i´m a mess with the calling thing and that stuff :P i guess many of them want to kill me because i´m not very good at calling heheh but never think i forget you all, you´re always in my heart.

Second I want to thank my baby with all my heart because even separated from her, she turned that day, in the begining a sad day because i didnt have her, into a woooooonderful day.... you made me cry as a child eh??? is all your fault and i love u so much sooooooooooo much habibi.

The truth is that i dont have much to tell about these days... i didn´t do anything special, some days are harder than others because of well you know the hard sensation of not having what i need the most, that only can be overcome when i talk to my angel.
These days i´m watching some series that i like a lot , specially about mysteries and science fiction aaaaaaaaaaaaand I´m counting the days until Pirates of the Caribbean : the dead man´s chest " is released at last , only 3 more days and TACHAAAAAAAAANN!!. As you can see I love pirate stories :P what can i do since i was a child i´ve always been obsesed with adventures and strange and fantastic worlds, and my favourite book ever was " TREASURE ISLAND " :P I think if someday i have a child inchallah i´ll drive him/her crazy with all my stories!.

I´m lazy to write more today hehehe..but I think i´ll answer the test my dear Ayalguita had on her blog ;) here it goes :

1. What is your middle name? Moisés...

2. How big is your bed? ehhh not big enough :)

3.What are you listening to right now? the sound of the fan... its too hot !!

4. What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?0068

5. What was the last thing you ate? oh too bad... an omelette, tuna , cheese and salad :P

6. Last person you hugged? i think ehhh ...mum

7. How is the weather right now? hot toooo hot !! even at night

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? mum

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes, smile... the way of talking, if its a good person or not thats the most importtant for me...

10. Favorite type of Food? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

11. Do you want children? if i want?? are you joking I LOOOOOOOOOOVE THEM

12. Hair color? dark blonde

13.Do you wear contacts? nope

14. Favorite holiday? eeeevery each of them !

15. Favorite Season? Fall , I´ve always loved it

16. Have you ever cried over a love lost? mmm nope but cried thinking i could lose it

17. Last Movie you watched? mmm Alone in the dark, i downloaded it yesterday ;)

18. What books are you reading? " Los clamores de la tierra " and " El diablo y los corsarios de Argel"

19. Piercings? nope

20. Favorite Movie? Indiana Jones ,Dark cristal, Laberynth, Aladdin, Lord of the rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, uff .... many !

21. Favorite college football team? OOOOOH NONE, I hate football :P

22. What were you doing before filling this out? Writting on this blog are u blind???

23. Favorite animal? Horses...and dolphins :D

26. Favorite drink? ummmmm.... apple juice :PPP

27. Favorite flower? ehhh i think a Rose

28. Have you ever loved someone? yep with all my heart... right now

29. Who would you like to see right now? my angel :(

30. What color are your bedroom walls? ehhh light yellow

31. Have you ever fired a gun? nooooooooooo i hate them...well i like swords :P

32. Do you like to travel by plane? yep i love it

33. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right handed althought i tried with the left ...too difficult hehehe.

34. If you could go to any place right now where would you go? anywhere where i can be with my baby.

35. Are you missing someone? YEEEEEEEEEEEEES TOO MUCH

36. Do you have a tattoo? no no no

37. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? YES :P on Saturday , Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday , Friday...what can i say i´m a child :D

38. Are you hiding something from someone right now? mmm nope

39. Are you 18? nooooooooo 25 :) recently

40. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? ehhhh don´t laugh... its a sheep ;P

41. Are you afraid of the dark?mmm not really things can happen also during the day...and many times horrible ones.

42. Favorite hangout: A quiet place where you can chat, and have a good time with the people u love.

43. 3 things you can't live without? LOVE, COMPRENHENSION , aaaaaand LOVE again.

44. Favorite songs? " Have you ever really loved a woman "

45. What are you afraid of? mmm of losing the ones i love, of people changing, of not beign a good person and don´t do the right things...of the craziness of human beigns and violence.

46. Are you a giver or a taker?A giver of course... sometimes too much

47. What are your nicknames? Youyou, Moi.. Peter pan..hehehehe and Hobi and habibi of course....thanks to my baby.

48. What is your dad's middle name? Manuel :P

49. What do you sleep in? hey what a question hehehe on summer just in shorts and in winter with my pijama :))

50. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing? the person i love

51. Favorite TV commercial? ehhh i don´t remember i don´t usually pay attention to them :P

52. First thing you'll save in a fire? The people i love of course

53. What is your favorite color? Blue and Green

54. What are the things you always bring with you? mmm my wallet and the keys of home hehehe

55. What did you want to be when you were a kid? An Archeologist, and a teacher or maybe an Explorer...

56. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on? mmmm strange question I guess i go to see why it turns on.

57. What color is your bedsheet? In this moment.. blue and green

58. Who do you want to meet? Indiana Jones hehehe yes I know it´s imposible :P

59. What do you think about before you go to bed? what do i think of...I think of my baby, I think of how wonderful universe is and i think of God.

Covered with the wings of an angel

2006-08-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

Everyday i feel how much she loves me... everyday more and more , and each day i realize that i´m nothing without her love she makes me so happy, she makes me feel so loved so needed. I simply can´t find the words to express what she makes me feel.

These are hard times for her i know it and it kills me that she has to suffer because of the only sin we comitted...to love each other. All i want is that she understands that whatever happens i´ll always be with her and i´ll always support her and of course i´ll always always take care of her.

I know she feels like trapped in her own cage... her own house, i just wish i could free her wings, that we could discover the whole world together without fears, beign free to love each other, and never be scared of laugh, or kiss, or touch each other... i know that time will come we just need to be pattient, we need to avoid problems as much as we can until she´s free of her studies and then we´ll start our life together.

She´s like a drug... a wonderful one ... i need to hear her voice all the time...i need to hear that sweet " te quiero , te quiero , te quiero " that always lit my heart with the purest light and joy. I need to hear her smile, that wonderful smile that takes my breath away, that kisses she sends me through the phone, that " habibi " that makes me feel the happiest man on earth, I need it all and i need it all the time. Everyday i miss her more and more , i need her more and more and i love her more and more. I never felt something like this before i never thought it could ever happen to me, i feel so lucky.

My birthday is in a couple of days... i wish i could be with her, the best gift i can have is beign with her, my only wish and dream. It´s imposible, at least for the moment but since i can´t see her smile again at least in some time... i´ll be able to hear her, that will be a wonderful gift and even if it´ll be a sad day because i can´t have what i need the most i know that she´s always with me, always.
I´d write pages and pages, and i´d try to find the most wonderful words to express what she makes me feel but i guess i´d never be able to find a simple word that can describe what i have here inside of my poor heart, and i don´t want to bore you... i just thought that i needed to express this because i feel happy i feel truly happy and the most importtant i feel sooooooooo loved.

These are just a few words from a crazy man completely in love with an angel...

WHY...WHY... WHYYYYYYYYYY??

2006-07-28T14:40:00.000-07:00

WHY she must stand that comments! why she must stand to be acused of something she never did and a sin she never commited!!... why is so unfair , why we can´t just live our lives, just to try to reach our dreams freely...WHY????

I feel useless, i feel angry, i feel that i want to scream because of this unfair situation...why she must suffer that much because for the first time in her life she wants to do something on her own, to take a decission about her life...but the worst is that she´s acused of not being honest of being a liar when she always said the truth , she never hid anything and she always did the right things.

HATE me i dont care... but let her in peace, acuse me of everything i simply don´t care i know the truth i know whats inside me and most importtant i know whats inside her. i wont give up, i wont give up fighting for my only dream, the only thing i want... i don´t care about anything i´ll make her happy and nobody will ever stop me, i´m fed up of dreaming, i´m fed up with this unfair world... its our time to be happy, our time to fight for our own lives to take our own decissions.

I don´t care how many obstacles we´ll find, I know i have her i know she´s with me and we´ll find the way of beign together.i´m not willing to renounce to what i need the most, I´m not willing to loose what i´ve been waiting for such a long time always wondering how it was going to be ...but always that just dreaming... i wont dream anymore i´ll act and from this precise moment i swear that i wont let anything spoil what makes me the happiest man on earth , i WON´T renounce to her i simply can´t , and i´m not willing to loose her love.

I´m furious, angry , sad, attonished for how unfair and hurting words can be... of how is it posible to make someone suffer that much when its from ur own blood!.

I won´t write more, I won´t because anger can make me say things i´ll later regret... so i prefer to try to calm down, i prefer to wait for my angel and talk to her , i prefer to let her know that no matter what i´ll always be with her...

WHY do we make things so complicated when they´re sooooooooooooooooo easy... i´ll never ever understand it.

Broooooooooom broooooooooom

2006-07-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

Here i am again... first of all sooooooooooooorry for taking this long to post once more because well i spend a hard week sick and these couple of days haven´t been easy either.

mmm where to start, ah yes finally they gave me my new car ! yipeeee !!! I love it :PP well i dont usually like cars u know i think they´re all the same but i love my new one :P hehehe and blue !!! oh i love blue :D.
I called her as my baby and i put her name and mine on the back of the car, hehehe im personalizing it :DD now im waiting for her to come and put looooooooots of peluches as she loves ;).

what else... mmmm ah yes this morning i went to the doctor again as every month, i dont know if i tell u before but i have a problem on my skin, on my head... it´s a Lupus hamdoulilah not a systemic one but an external one, but well i must deal with it the better as i can.
They injected me again, i hate it, it hurts... the 10 or 12 times they inject u on the top of your head it hurts believe me !!! hehehe. But hamdoulilah it goes after some time :).

Besides that well today is a special day and i have a bittersweet feeling, on one side i feel very happy because its our anniversary, the first year together!! ... wow a year already passed and it seemed imposible at the begining, but on the other side i feel sad because i cant spend it with her, and well she´s having lots of problems in these moments... hard ones. I just pray for these hard moments to go and to let us live in peace as we want.
I´m waiting for her to be online, and i´ll call her later before going to sleep because i truly need to hear her voice today. I just hope she´s fine today.

About ur questions Sobia.... nosey ??? noooooooooooooooo please u can ask freely, well there are some things that i prefer not to say or comment about because well im not here to tell every detail of our relation but of course to write about how i feel everyday. But of course i´ll tell u if i can answer to u ;)). Anyway thank u so much for reading my blog all along hehehe it makes me really happy :PP i´m still trying to put the links here but as u can see i´m a mess with this hehehe i still have a lot to learn from the world of posting :) .

Well where to begin from ... our story begins with a site in the internet, a page of language exchange, i was learning arabic on my own ( really difficult hehehe don´t try if u dont have a teacher) and of course i needed help with it because i didnt´t have aaaaaaany idea of the pronounciation. I´ve always been interested on the arabic language and semitic ones, and history and well lots of things that hehehe i wont bore u with.
So one day i found that page and i wrote to someone asking for help with arabic, and hamdoulilah that person was her. She answered me and soon she started helping me with it and we become friends in no time, we conected reaaaaally good together.

I decided to go Morroco, i was fed up with my life, i stayed working as an animator ( u know cartoons and that stuff ) for 4 years and having problems all the time, this stupid desease came to me at that time because of the stress or who knows... so the point is that i went there... and i met her. Probably u know that there a girl hardly can have a friend i mean a masculine one and muuuuuuuuuuuuuch worse if its foreigner, her mum knew me i mean she knew we were talking and we were friends she accepted it, But she didn´t tell her i was coming so we could met.

We felt in love, from the very first moment we saw each other ... i never felt something like that i felt pure happiness with her... and finally she told her mum.... and there probs began of course.
of course when i came back we kept talking everyday, by phone, by letters... and day by day i had more clear that i really wanted to be with her.
I was studying Islam before knowing her but how could i know my life was going to change that way. I knew that the only way to be with her was becoming muslim, and of course i was afraid... of course she never ever asked me anything. i wanted to be with her and i decided to study it and to see if that faith fit me or not. And finally i decided to become muslim.

All these months we´ve been talking, and well sourmounting obstacles together, i go there and we find the way to see each other, and then i come and we keep talking every single day and distance instead of separating us is joining us even stronger. but since i asked her to be my wife and told her parents about our compromise things are getting worse because well they dont accept at all our relation, and they´re trying to separate us.
Of course im not here to complain but to write about my feelings, but i know we´ll be able to go over this and we´ll be happy together inchallah.

I know we are from diferent cultures and well that there may be missunderstandings and problems but i know the kind of confidence we have in each other is really difficult to find, and the sincerity we have will help us to overcome everything.

What can we do we are in love and i dont think is such a big sin... I just hope someday we can laugh together at all this.

Feelings....

2006-07-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well, things got complicated these days... something that i didnt expect to happen happened... and im afraid is hurting someone i really care about.
Sometimes we can´t control our feelings, and i know it for sure because i have many ups and downs and i know that on matter of feelings everything is posible.

What can i say, i had a couple of bad days scared again because of my fears, and my low autoestime... but after thinking and thinking and thinking again i realized that i dont have why to have them, because they´re just nightmares that try to destroy my self. I´m really thankful for the help i had but i know that now someone is suffering from it, and i dont know what to do because i feel really bad.

I´m the way i am i can´t change, i may try to get better , but i can´t change whats inside me that i know it for sure. Many times i wished to be another way , to care less about things, to not be that sensitive about everything around but it always ended up in the same... i can´t change.

I like to help people i feel fine with my self doing it and i love to feel helping, to feel that i can help someone to feel better, but it makes me feel sad that maybe it can hurt someone, but it was never my intention to do that.
I just hope that that person realizes how especial she is and doesnt let that nightmares come to her, because she doesnt deserve that.

Today i got good news from my baby, his brother came back from England and his staying this summer at home, so now she´ll have his support, and probably she´ll be able to get out with him to see me, she´s so happy today and i feel in heaven because i know she´s happy.
Oh and i passed my Amadeus exam so i feel very happy for that :D.

I wont write more i feel reaaaaaaaaaaaaally tired, this hot kills me and all i want to do is to lay down over the floor and don´t do aaaaanything, tomorrow it´ll be another day and i hope is cooler hehehe, because if not i´ll die up here.

Having a great time with Nuria

2006-07-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

Today Elena and Guadalupe came home to have lunch, and Elena brought the little Nuria ...ohhhhhhhhhh she´s so cute.
I dont know i felt like a father today , i wish so much that someday i can be dad. If i feel that with a baby that is not mine how i´ll feel when i have my own baby... i can´t imagine how great that feeling could be.

I had a really great time. i like that things , to sit down and chat i dont know to share things with people. Mum and dad were so happy with Nuria i think they felt like when me and my brother were babies remembering old times.
I envy Elena, but in a good way i mean she´s so lucky to have Nuria...i know all the problems she has because of her husband or her soon to be ex... but i dont know, having such a treasure is the most wonderful thing i can think of.

Elena and Guadalupe they´re such a good persons i really wish the best for them and i really hope we can mantain our friendship, is really difficult to find people like that thesedays.
And of course i hope we repeat it again, because i enjoied it a lot. I feel comfortable with them because they´re truly nice and i really like to talk with them.

Yesterday night after talking with my sweetheart, i had a strange feeling... like those fears came again to torture me. i look at my self in the mirror and i think why... how can i give her what she deserves. I had a nightmare at night, i dreamt she rejected me the day before marrying and i felt miserable... i woke up worried and i had to send her an email trying to express what i was feeling.

I know that she has fears, i know she thinks that maybe she wont be able to understand many things from here, and im afraid she can get hurted because of things she sees , or things that for her are completely wrong. As i know that there will be things that i wont like from morroco because after all we have different cultures...but as i always tell her we just have one heart, and no matter what we must try to understand and respect the other without obliging , but giving reasons of why u dont like this or that.
I must be sincere, and i think im here for that... im afraid some day she could get dissapointed, or she discovers that is not what she expected... and i wont stand that she feels that.
My decission is to fight for her until the end , and i´ll do everything posible in order not to let anything spoil our relation.
I dont know if its good or bad but i feel that i depend completely on her, i mean everything is meaninless for me if its not with her, if i dont have her love or her approvement .

I dont know why im like this, i dont know why i need to give my self completely to someone, i dont know why i need so much that someone tells me i love u at anytime, that someone cares about me always, that someone likes me... i dont know why i need her so much , but i need her i need her with all my heart thats the only thing i know.

Im waiting for her to conect as usual, is the only thing i wait for impattiently for the whole day, just to talk with her some minutes is the only thing that makes me happy.
Sometimes i think, what if i give everything to her, if i make everything posible to try to give her what she needs and finally i get hurted because she´s dissapointed or im not what she expects me to be. I know i souldnt think on such things because it demonstrates that i dont have confidence on my self. I.m sure that i can give her all the love in the world, but what if its not enough what if she needs more than that??

Oh i dont know, i hate when i start thinking like this, i think it comes when i start feeling sad or when i miss her too much...

As she tells me i think im getting crazy... crazy for her... but i just wanted to write and to try to express what i feel inside, even if they´re fears with nosense.

i think i did fine

2006-07-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

Good news :)... i think my exam was fine...yes maybe i forgot to put some little details as i discovered later when talking with my mates from the course but hey! i think i deserve to pass it, no no i think it was pretty good hehehe and i trust our teacher will be nice with us, now the worst thing is to wait for the results :P.

We´re finishing the course soon at least the main one because after vacations we´ll have a week of classes and then the feared final IATA exams, so i have the whole summer to study reaaaaaaaaally hard.
I´m really happy because i found really good people in this course i think i found good friends and im really glad for that. Many things have changed in a short period of time, in just some months i found my path in life, i mean something to fight for and i feel truly happy.
Sometimes is hard yes, sometimes everything seems so difficult so complicated ... but others seems easy and i do things with the illution of a child.

I always have support on the things i do alhamdoulilah, from my family , from my friends... they ´re few but really good ones ( i just hope u can forgive me if i seem to be distracted or i dont know in a cloud, or if i dont call u enough... but well u know how messy i am with these things ;) )... and of course the support from my angel the one i care the most... hey it doesnt mean that i dont need support from others but her support, her comprenhension is what i need with all my heart.

Today she´s feeling sick, she has fever... and i feel worried about her , i wish i could be by her side and take care of her :(. Her mum didn´t receive the letter yet, i don´t know im getting impattient, just because i want to know how she reacts and if she decides to give me an opportunity to go to talk with them.

I´ve been tiding up my room today , it was full of papers and everything was a mess and i can´t stand that:P i hanged pictures of my baby in some portraits on the wall and when i was cleaning and opened the drawer in wich i keep her letters i couldnt help reading them. I don´t know how to explain what i feel when i read them , they smell like her and i can´t help smiling all the time and feeling that wonderful warmth inside.
I feel too many things inside that im not able to explain any of them, everything is a mix... of fears , worries but also joy , happiness, LOOOOOVE ... it makes me go crazy.
I´d like to be a great poet to express these deep feelings, i´d like to be a poet to tell her what she really means for me... it´s so deep.

I wish i could be a perfect man for her , to be able to give her everything she deserves, to make her always happy, to give her what she needs... to be her superman :P but what can i do im a normal guy , mmmm more normal than normal hehehe but i´ll give everything , i´ll do everything to try to make her happy, what can i do if my life has no other sense than making her feel loved and happy for the rest of her life.

mmm before i go i´d like to thank all the people who´s reading my blog :D i feel happy when i see someone read what i wrote... yes i know they´re personal thoughts but i guess i need to share them with someone and this brings me a great opportunity to do it.

And now i think i´ll go , i´m waiting for my baby to conect... i miss her and i hope she feels better now... i cant wait :).

who said I´m nervous uh???

2006-07-12T14:34:00.000-07:00

Yeeeeeeeeeees tomorrow is our final exam of Amadeus system... you know is a global booking and reservations system for flights, hotels and car renting .
This exam is truly important because depending on your grades u can have the certificate of amadeus or not ...but hey who said im nervous, until now i´ve been doing fine , yes i had some doubts but after a whole day practicing i understand it perefectly now. You know what scares me is my nerves they aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalways give me problems because even if i dont seem to be nervous but calmed and quiet , no no no inside i´m boiling of nerves hehehe.
I think i wont have serious problems tomorrow, i feel confident because i know that i have diferent way to find the answer to the exercises, so i´ll do my best.

Mmmmmm, i worried my angel today, i forgot to tell her that i was going to school this afternoon to practice and when she didnt receive my misscalls she thought something happened.... i feel so loved ...i know that she´s always worrying about me and that makes me feel incredibly loved.
I miss her so much i miss so much her lips, her eyes her smile her movements. im getting crazy because i desire her with all my heart. This morning i got truly sad , there was a couple in the train carissing and kissing each other and i couldn´t help feeling miserable for not having her with me, is so hard to dream with her every minute of the day and not beign able to see her a single second. I miss so much so much her smile, the sound of her laugh and the bright of her eyes. I really dont know if im going to be able to see her this time but i must try , i really must try, i cant stand a single more day without looking at her.

Ah i didnt tell u..... i forgot... im changing my car, probably they´ll give me the new one next week and i really like it. Im having problems with my actual one and its time to change it. I did it thinking of the future because the new one consumes much less than the one i have and they give me a lot of facilities on the payment form, so i took the decission :)). Now we have a new car...im dying for her to come and teach her how to drive... and to swim, to enjoy the wonderful moments of life together. i really can´t wait. Oh ! the car is blue :PP light blue.... hehehe i must say that i love blue and after telling and asking Asmae we decided its a good idea and she told me to choose the colour ...soooooooooooooooo blue :D.

I wont write much more tonight , i´m truly tired and now im waiting for my baby to be online again, today i´ll try to go earlier to bed because i should be fresh for tomorrow ... because it will be a haaaaaaaaaaard day. :P I just hope our teacher will be nice with us hehehehe.

Is it such a great sin to love each other???

2006-07-09T07:26:00.000-07:00

I´m missing her too much today, i tried to enjoy in our pool this morning but everything remembers me of her, i wish i could be with her , play with her laugh with her i just need her presence.

Yesterday she was a little sad, i called her in the morning and well it seems that her mum entered the room and got angry... she doesnt like that we talk and she gets angry with her.
I hate that she has problems because of me , sometimes i can´t help seeing me self as just a source of problems and worries for her.
She told her that she can´t understand this ... that she has many morrocan guys there and i have many spanish girls here so why we keep doing this.... she can´t understand that is not our mind who choses to love, i can´t help loving her she gives me everything i need and the hopes and dreams i always had, she gives meaning and sense to my world and i´m not willing to renounce to the most wonderful thing that could ever happened to me.

We still have to wait, we want to marry but we can´t until next year once she finishes her studies, at least that way she won´t have something that binds her. We wanted to do it now, we wanted to make an acte of marriage and that way be free because our relation would be legal... the worst thing is that fixing the necessary papers take almost 8 months and i didnt know it. So now when i´ll go to morrocco this summer i´ll start fixing them and inchallah they´ll be ready for next summer .
The problem is that her parents don´t accept our relation, if i could just have another opportunity of talking with them of showing them my intentions towards their daughter.
I understand them, i´m from another country, another culture and they dont know me... i want them to know me, i really want it because i want to have a good relation with them, but it seems so difficult that someday they can accept me. I just hope and pray allah to give me a single opportunity of showing them how much i love their daughter and that i´d never do something that could hurt her or her family... i simply love her and i dont think is a sin.

I sent her mum a letter... talking directly to her expressing my wish of having an opportunity , and i really hope after reading it she can give it to me, that they can try to know me better.
I may not be rich or the most handsome one, maybe they want someone much better for their daughter... but i know i can give her the love she needs, and i can give my life to make her happy, i just hope that someday they can understand.

I know many people have the same problems... that we must be pattient, and be strong relying on each other... and thats what we do, i´m not willing to let this destroy what we built...

can you believe it???

2006-07-06T15:05:00.000-07:00

I can´t believe our school is doing that to us... as i told before i broke an agreement of practices in order to accept a better offer in another agency wich gave me many opportunities and lots of facilities, but unfortunately it seemed that the new agency wouldn´t be able to hire me because my school wasn´t willing to make an agreement with them.

After breaking the agreement i was feeling really bad i think a mix of feelings..on one side i was feeling free of having to go again to the agency i was....i really wasnt comfortable there, but at the same time i was feeling guilty after all what the center told me, more or less they told me that im not going to find a job because i didnt finish my practices with them, and of course that i shouldnt even dream with getting another agreement of practices... so i was feeling too bad.

After talking with my baby i realized that is not the end of the world that sooner or later i´d get a job and not because of the help of the school thats for sure, they say the look after the satisfaction of the student but i dont think this kind of behaviour is the best for the student, much more when u go with polite manners and they answer u shouting and threatening.

They behaved even worse with a friend from school, she was the one who told me about the interview of that new agency and i was truly thankful with her ...but the way they treated her is unbelievable. They started shouting at her and made her cry, and its so stupid because her case was much easier than mine, she didn´t start making practices, she didnt sign a single paper and they didn´t want to let her free...i really cant understand.

By the way as i was telling, it seemed that the agreement was broken and later at night i talked with the person in charge of hiring in the new agency... Halcón viajes is its name... and she told me they´re going to try to talk with formatic to try to make the agreement.

Impossible as the school said... the only posibility is to wait until september until they can make me a contract on the agency itself to attend their courses and then to begin working with them... i hope inchallah everthing will go fine.
In some way its better because at least i´ll be free to go to see my angel, inchallah i´ll go on first september. I dont know if im going to be able to see her often because of the problems we have, but i dont care , i´d go even if i can see her just a single minute.

I dont want that she lies because of me, i prefer that we do things face to face... i know that her parents won´t let her see me but i´ll do my best to have the opportunity at least to see her eyes again.

To be or not to be.....

2006-07-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

I wasn´t fine in the agency... I felt bad since I entered... yes I left it, I don´t know if its wise but what is done is done. Maybe because today i had a horrible day , maybe because i was fed up but i took the decission. I received another offer this morning from another agency, they accepted me and they wanted me to start on 2oth of july, working the whole day in practices but at least paying me and well with a posiblity of having a stable contract... the bad thing was that i was already doing practices with the other agency, people from the center i study made the contract for me, i send them my curriculum and they looked for the agency and they agreed everything....for 4 months i should have been working in that agency.
After i received the notice that i was accepted in the other one, i decided to go to the center and tell them that i wanted to break the contract that i wasnt fine and that i had a much better offer in wich i could learn much more... maybe i shouldnt have told them but i did, maybe i shouldnt have accepted the other offer after having the contract with this one... but well i did it i thought it wouldnt be problems because they told us that we could end our practices when we want...but it seems not.
Now the director of the center told me that if i break the contract i dont have any right to change of company or at least they wont help me at all, and she threatened me telling me that i wont find a job without experience... maybe she´s right... but i was angry and i didnt know what to do... if i chosed to stay with the contract i had i´d have to say no to the other agency because they send the contract through the center i study as an agreement of practices...and of course the center would never accept that... i was angry... and yes maybe i didnt think wisely , i know they have their reasons but i also have mines...

I called the other agency and told them what happened, that i had another contract and everything... they told me they´ll try to fix it and they´d try to make a contract not depending on the center... but i worry because i still didnt get the call telling me its ok.
I know i did things badly maybe i was too impulsive.... but i went to the agency i was working this afternoon and i renounced.

Yes I´m worried now...because i could have lost both opportunities... but its done. Now i think is a matter of time..if they dont want me in the new agency ... maybe i seem like a really bad professional... i´ll have to look on my self, i´ll wait until i finish the course and then i´ll look everywhere.

I know i cant take always the right decissions, i thought this could be a good opportunity but everything got complicated... well i just pray Allah to help me taking the good decissions in the future

First day... What a day!!!

2006-06-28T14:52:00.000-07:00

Bueno bueno bueno... its seems that here i am again... but exhausted i must say. I didn´t tell you but today it was my first day working on practice on a travel agency... on Viajes Barceló.
Anyway... besides that... ehhh well it wasnt exactly what i expected but anyway i hope it´ll be better... besides i must say i had a baaaaaaaaaad day.
First, this morning... before attending to the course in the morning i noticed that i had to go to the doctor... i have a problem on the skin and i have to check often... so i had to change my plans and go to the appointment at 11:00, after that just after getting out from the doc they call me from the course telling me that i have to go right now because i need to sign a paper , some sort of a contract saying that a gree to realize my practices with Viajes Barceló. Soooooooooo there i was running to catch the train!! because you must know that it takes me 1:30 or 2 hours to get to the course .... so u can imagine i was in a hurry because i had to enter work at 4:30 and now it was almost 12:00.
ok,then i got to the Formatik center ( where i study ) and finally i signed the paper... three of them to be exact, and of course i had to go running to catch the train again to be able to get home and to eat something before i enter work.

So i took the train and then i took my car to get home, mum or dad werent home because they had to go out really early to finish a work far from here, so i didnt know what to take for lunch because i needed something fast... so idecided to eat a couple of apples ( i love apples i must say ) and a yougurt...i know is not enough but i needed at least to have something in my stomach... and i realized that i had to take a shower before going because i didnt shave or anything.
But guess what....when i was going to my room i hit a bottle without noticing, and aaaaaaaaaall the liquid inside was spread over papers and the floor... the worst thing of all was that its a liquid to give colour to wood because i use it for painting a miniature ship im making.... so eeeeeeeeeverything was a mess and everything was painted. Really nervous because i couldnt let that that way and knowing that i still had to have a shower and that probably i wouldnt be able to get to work on time...and on my first day!!!

It took me long to take all that mess out but i finally did it , so i went directly to shower and as soon as i could i dressed up. After leaving i thought of giving my baby a misscall to let her know that im always thinking of her... and well she answered the phone because she thought that i wanted to tell her something...for me it was great because i could hear her and all the stress i had dissapeared..so i told her bye and i took my car as fast as i could heading to work.
Finally i got there, 5 minutes late wow! what a record and i introduced my self , they seemed not to know much about me coming or working with them but anyway i told them i was there to spend a period of practice.

At first they gave me little works as organizing bills and that stuff .... but the boss who seems reaaaaaaaaaaaally lazy made me go down to the ware house and told me to clean and organize it... so i spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning all around. Well i just hope this will change soon and they start teaching me how to work :)).

So then i came home at 9 :30 or so , i had dinner and prayed, and well now i was chatting with my baby. She went to pray some minutes ago so i´m taking advantage and i´m writting here ..i know this is too boring but hey!!! its my blog and i write what i want ;).
so that was my day, and i hope nothing bad happens again ufff ! i had enough for today...i hope ur day was better than mine, and i also hope to post something a little more interesting than this hehehe but that will have to be tomorrow because now im reaaaaaaaaaaally tired...

ohhhh... L´amour !!!

2006-06-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

Salam everyone! here I am at last...I told you hehehe that you should have pattience with me because I´ll write from time to time ;), whenever i have something interesting to tell or a feeling that I want to express....

First, thank you so much for the comments you left and I really hope to make this blog interesting...

Ehhhh no no the one of the picture its not me if you´re wondering... its a drawing I made for a proyect for my arabic classes :).

Oh yes !! I didnt tell you I study arabic too though now Im on vacations hamdoulilah hehehe because I had too much work, but now is over and I´m just studying in the travel agent course.
What else can I say to make you have a little idea about my self... mmmm...well yes, before attending to the travel agent course I studied cinema, well not really I specialized on animation and yes I love drawing , sculpting and you know making artistic things with my own hands.

As I said on my last post I´m a new muslim, well I became muslim some months ago after some time studying Islam on my own and with the help of my baby who always was there for me.

You must be wondering who my baby is.... ehhhh I think I´ll always refer to her as my baby because I dont know if she likes that I show her name here... anyway she knows who I´m talking about ;)).
My baby... well she´s my fiancee alhamdoulilah, she´s muslim and she´s morrocan, she´s just an angel who came down to save me, my angel and I really dont know how to thank her.
I must say that she has become my entire life and I thank Allah everyday for putting her on my way in the exact moment I needed her the most.

Before knowing her I was going through a really bad period of my life, I was in a deep depression and she just lifted me up from the very first moment I met her.
At that time I didn´t know what I wanted to do with my life, I was completely lost.
I dont know how to express what I was feeling ... I was just like in a deep hole... dark as a night without moon and I couldn´t see the light, I didn´t have hope.
I´ve always had problems of autoestime, don´t ask me why but I´ve been always tortured with the idea that nodody would love me, that well that I´m not as good as others, and girls would prefer anyone else instead of me.
She´s the first relation I´ve had, and I hope she´ll be the only woman in my life. Before her I just dated a girl on highschool and I ended up hurted simply because well she cheated me and she went with a more handsome guy. I know is stupid because I didn´t even love her, we just dated sometimes, but I felt hurted at that time and well it just summed up to my problem of autoestime. Later I dated another girl from the cinema school...and well it was just for 2 days!!, I realized she wasn´t for me so I can say I don´t have experience in relations...

I never found a girl that could give me what I really need, someone to share everything with, sensitive and most importtant who loves me just as I am. I needed someone to talk about everything ...yeeees I know if she reads this she´ll laugh because I know I talk too much and I drive her mad ;)) but anyway she´s always there listening.
My baby and I .... we are different in many aspects but the same...is difficult to understand but we complement each other perfectly... what I don´t have she has it and what she doesnt have I give her. She gave me confidence on my self and all she gives me, all the love I receive from her is a gift from heaven.
All I wish in this life is to make her happy, and I would give eeeeeeeeeverything for her, just to see a simple smile on her face.

Of course after meeting her after knowing that I loved her lots of worries came to my mind, because how could be posible that our relation could work... me here in Spain and she´s there ... what about my family , what about HERS and most importtant... she cant marry someone who´s not muslim!!!.
I didnt know much about Islam before meeting her, just what I read or saw on tv... so of course I was afraid... I was afraid because I knew that I could lose her and because for me it was a huuuuuuuuuuge step... changing my religion WOW! what would I have to do now... those were my thoughts at the begining. I thought and thought and I decided to keep going on , to take things step by step.
I´ve always been a believer...but I didnt believe in church, for me everything seemed a show, like an spectacle, and I´ve bee always searching for something that could give me the peace I needed.
I was afraid reaaaaaaaally afraid...but I just had one thing clear ... I loved her ... and I wasn´t willing to lose what I´ve been looking for my whole life...

2006-06-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

Ahhh... yes finally I´m here... what a new experience for me!.
Where to start from... mmmm... there´re so many things to tell. Anyway let´s go step by step, first of all I´d like to thank my friend Elena who encouraged me to write this blog... from here I send you a big kiss to you and Nuria and hope things get better for both of you now that you´re begining a whole new life and hopefully a wooooooooonderful one.
Second... apologies for all the mistakes I´ll surely do, I´ll post in english cause I think more people will be able to read it and so that my little baby can read it too... but I´ll also post some things in spanish if you dont mind.
Third and importtant I beg you to have pattience with me because I won´t be able to write too often but when I have a little free time, I hope you understand ;).

Well as you can see I´m new in the business and I really dont know where or how to start, and please forgive me because I´m not a very good writer like all the people out there but I´ll do my best... yeeeees I promise :P.

Now I think I should introduce my self, what a responsability :P if I do wrong you can keep a bad impression of me... anyway here I go !!!

My name is Youssef and yes I´m a new muslim... a long story that I´ll tell you for sure but be pattient be pattient, everything comes in the right moment ;).
As I was telling until you interrupted me :P I´m 24 , ok ok nearly 25 and at the moment I´m studying in a course for becoming a travel agent.
I forgot to tell you, I live in Madrid... in Spain if you never heard of it :) ... although I was born in Canary Islands.

I guess I could tell you how many things I like , but I know I´d bore you for sure so I´ll keep doing it little by little on my next posts.
Mainly I wanted to introduce my self and summing up to tell why I decided to write this blog.
The first reason I do it is because sometimes I need to express my self wether I´m happy or sad... rarely angry hehehe it´s not on my nature.
And the second one is because I find it funny and a good way to kick off all the stress you have.

Another thing that I should say, a really importtant one is that....I´M IN LOVE... yes I´m completely in love with a wonderful girl... my little baby who I hope someday will read this blog.
And something more... she´s morrocan. OH! you can say, that can mean problems... and you won´t be wrong, we have them indeed but that´s another story. For the moment I won´t bore you too much and I just hope this little introduction made you wonder a little about me and my little world.

I invite you to enter my cave of wonders... sometimes full of laughs and others a little sad, but you´re always welcomed no matter what ;)).