Two worlds... the same hate

I´m really fed up with all this madness... i really can´t understand why people want to declare war against each other, governments, leaders, people their selves are just waiting for the opportunity to jump and destroy the other... is it so difficult to try to understand your neighbour???
I can´t stop hearing about declarations that bother some people and declarations that bother the other, about violent acts, war... aaaaaaaaalways trying to make two worlds get in conflict , always trying to destroy each other and I´m fed up. I don´t understand it , I don´t want to understand why is it so difficult to respect the other, and it seems that our nature never changes, we want war, we want conflict, we want violence, we need to feel that in front of us there´s somebody different from us and its not good, we need to be the only ones... we need to destroy, to erase them...

I can´t watch a single program without hearing about all that hate between people, i can´t read a single newspaper without reading about violence and anger... this is never going to end???

I know i can´t do anything, I´m just a worm in this messy and complicated world, i guess i can´t even say what i think about things because I´m sure there´ll always be someone that is ready to attack what i think, to try to step on me, to jump like an angry tiger over me...

There´s only nonsense and i guess all i can do is to live my life and close my eyes and my ears.


Changing the subject, at last i finished with the course we did or IATA exam, and i think i did fine at least i went out happy from it...tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired but happy after all.
Today i spent my day painting the figure of the pirate i modelled, i think it´ll look fine once its finished, it has a lot of work, well because i want to do it the best i can and I´m entertained doing it.
I called my baby this morning, yesterday she was a little sad and i understand it perfectly but i needed to cheer her up, and when she told me " allo " this morning wow! my heart jumped I felt incredibly happy, listening to her laugh brightened my day. After that she gave me a huuuuuuuuuuge surprise when she conected at lunch time and i could talk to her for a while.
I´ve been alone almost for the whole day, my parents went to a local artisany fair in "Chinchón "( a village not very far from here), so i´ve been here painting and and watching movies, this weekend i´m taking it to relax after the stress of the exam you know :). Besides that i didnt do much, well maybe thinking and thinking... but i guess i can´t fix much with that.
Mum is having a bad days she´s not sleeping well at night, i think is due to unconscious worries about work, my brother.... i really don´t know i just hope she gets better, if not she´ll have to see the doctor.
I think i´ll end up here, i still want to keep painting a little bit more before i loose the inspiration hehehe and of course because i´m impattient for my baby to be online, and i want to finish before she comes :).

YOU don´t know what this is, do you??

Well as i told you yesterday here is the picture of the figure i modelled, it´s just a little figure to put my mobile in. As you can see is based on the Barbossa character from Pirate´s of the Caribbean movie, I hope you like it :).

As I relized today i dont have enough paint and colours to paint it and let it finished so i gues i´ll have to wait until i can buy some to work on it I guess i´ll do it one of these weekends.

Because for now i have to start studying hard in order to pass my IATA exam on the 14th of September. Appart of that I had a quiet day, though i always get angry everytime i watch TV and i can´t understand why we humans make this world so complicated and how world is so corrupted by interests, prejudges, hate and war... I guess money is the engine of our hearts these days.

OH only thinking on starting going to the course again, even if its only for a week makes me feel tired heheh only thinking on it.. waking up really early, the car, traffic jams, subway...well hamdoulilah is just for a week and after the exam I´ll start working at last.

I´ve been thinking that maybe on weekends on my free time i´ll start modelling as i used to and i´ll start selling my figures again ... maybe the internet market can help me some way, so if anybody out there wants a figure just tell me hahahaha !!!.

I used to sell my works on shops when i was working as a modelling and sculpture teacher, i started selling them when i was in highschool and as i´ve always been working as a freelance i used to sculpt whatever people asked me instead of making my own collections.... but who knows maybe i´ll do it now on weekends. During the week I´ll work on tourism in an agency and on weekends i´ll create some figures to sell and get an extra money :).

I hope my angel had a good day today and everything went fine for her, i´ve been thinking of her for the whole day. She´s starting an internship and i just hope everything went great...I know she´ll do great :P Its not because i´m going to marry her but .... she´s incredibly intelligent :P hehehe and it´s not a compliment she really is and i´m truly truly proud of her, she surprises me everyday, everything seems new by her side and she renovates my illution everytime i talk to her even if its just for a few minutes. No matter what she always makes me feel the most special guy on earth.

Mmmm another thing is that I´m looking forward to watch the spanish movie " El Capitán Alatriste ", is based on the books with the same name from the author " Arturo Perez Reverte ", I like that character a lot and mostlt is because i looooooooooooooove sword fighting :P the action takes place in the " siglo de oro español " between the XVII and XVIII centuries. Well i love it and i almost attended to the casting to appear in the movie hehehe.

Well i think is enough for now I´ll go to pray and eat something :)... salamu alaiiiiiiiiiiiiikum !!!

Searching for the biggest adventure of all...

Just a little drawing i made this summer... when you´re bored you just entertain with any thing ;)... and of course is dedicated to my precious pearl.

back to rutine... but even more in love !!!

YES !! i´m here again after a loooooooong time without posting... sorry for taking so long, I went on vacations and then after coming well i was inmerse doing other things and i forgot completely to write here again.

Anyway after all here am I, ready to bother you a little more hehehe.

Where should i begin with mmm let me see... ah yes! as you all can see i went for some days on vacations with my parents, they needed to relax and well as i was going to stay here alone they asked me if i wanted to go with them, because as as you can see i couldnt go to see my baby because of the hard situation she´s living there, so we must be pattient with it and everything will be ok inchallah :). Sooooooo as i was telling i agreed and i went with them to Mallorca, to the North eastern coast called " Costa de los Pinos " ( coast of the pines ), I must say its a really beautiful place and very quiet ;). I had a great time and we had a lot of fun, oh and i took a lot of sunbathing at the beach hehehe i wish i could keep that colour all the time :P , The BAD thing is that i was missing her soooooooooooooooo much, every tiny little thing i visited or did remembered me of her and all i wanted was that she could be with me and enjoy all that as i was doing.

Hamdoulilah our hotel had an internet service so i could buy tickets and that way i was able to talk to her everyday... by the way i called her almost everyday at night because i needed to listen to her voice again and again. We visited many places, wonderful ones, beaches, caves, little villages... i can say we had a great time.

I can´t deny im in love can i ?? hehehe that smile you see is simply because thinking of my angel makes me feel the happiest guy on earth. That night i made a dessert with her name on it and i took a picture to send her buuuuuuuuut my phone didn´t save it :P so i had to prepare another one and eat it hahahaha i ate my baby twice...

The truth is that i couldnt stop thinking of her a single minute of the day and i needed her even stronger. I guess you can see it in my eyes when i feel happy. People who know me know perfectly when im feeling down i guess its true what they say...the eyes are the mirror of ur soul.

Oh and another thing, before going on vacations i ordered a prayer mat via internet and i was looking forward to receive it and finally when i came back home here it was the notification to go to pick it up in the post office... sooooooooooooooo here it is finally i have my new prayer mat and i´m very happy :) .

Well i guess its enough for now, i´m waiting for my angel to be online and i´ll go to drink a huuuuuuge glass of water because i´m dying of hot up here :)

Probably tomorrow i´ll post a picture of a little figure i made ;)

You see... one of those blue days again

Yes, I can´t deny it I´m feeling blue today, a little sad in one of those down days... this is like an attraction park, Disneyworld but deep inside with us and downs. I don´t know why i´m feeling like this again, ooooooooooooook yes I know why but i won´t tell it again or you all will get tired of me.
I´m home alone, my parents when to visit my aunt and uncle again to their appartment in " Pelayos de la presa ". The truth is that i didn´t feel in the mood to go, i didn´t have anything better to do but i really wasn´t feeling like going there :P I just wanted to hide like a crab ad don´t show my self, or hide inside my shell. YES I know i shouldn´t do it, I´m always telling my angel to be strong and look at me hiding like a shy crab.
I went out i took my car and i went going a ride, just that driving... without thinking on anything, then i parked and i saw a sit and i sat there under a tree, for two hours i´ve been without doing anything just sitting just that, me and my thoughts.
I felt alone...well not alone because i know she´s always with me but i needed her presence...just a carisse, a kiss, a sweet word telling me that everything will be ok. Sometimes i can´t stand that feelings, sometimes they just overcome me and take control of my thoughts and my feelings. I know perfectly that it goes, i know it goes once i talk with her... but i feel really alone today.
Many times i pretend that I´m happy because i dont want her to feel bad. i know her situation is much harder than mine... i simply miss her but she has to stand all that pressure, so all i want is to cheer her up and with that i cheer up too.
Many times i think that we have such a strong link, many times I feel bad simply because she´s feeling bad and i know it even without talking to her for the whole day.
I´m waiting until 20:00 to go to the phone booth and call her, i truly hope she feels happy today. It kills my self when i hear that she´s crying because she´s sad, or that she had somekind of problem. Hamdoulilah these days she´s more free to talk when i call her and listening to her laugh again gives me life.

I didn´t even eat, i wasnt feeling hungry at all, just when i came back i ate a little cheese sandwich and a yougurt. I came back at 19:00 from my lonely walk and now i´m just waiting to talk to her, in order to cheer up a bit...

Arrr, me hearties !!!

Ahoy ! lower the Jolly roger scurvy dogs bring the grog and let´s find the booty !!!

AYE !! finally i watched Pirates of the caribbean ohhhhhhhhhhhhh i had a great time with it , I LOVE PIRATE STORIES !!!! hehehe. I truly enjoyed it... even if its not the same because i don´t have me beauty with me...
:P I´ll have to go to see it at least 5 more times hehehe aye ! i´m crazy :P but last one i saw it on cinema for 7 times :D.

Today I had a lunch with my family again ,we were celebrating my uncle´s mum birthday so we spent the time in my aunt´s, we had a good time... :P and of course i had to prepare the tea as usual hehehe.

Yesterday after talking with my baby i felt like the happiest man on earth, she gives me so much love and when she told me that i´m the man of her life and that she´ll fight for me until the end made me melt and feel incredibly happy. I understand that she feels that hurted because of the comments of her family...they don´t even know me so how can they acuse me of beign a liar... but i really dont care what people think, i just care that she trusts in me completely and that i have her love, with that i know i can overcome everything that gets in my way.
And well today i had an arguing with someone, because he was telling me that how can religions be good if the world goes so badly, that they make people fanatic and intolerant.... i was defending that religion its self is not bad but the use people make of it, no matter what religion is ... people always use it for their own profit and thats what gives bad name to religion .
I just defend that people should live the way the want if that makes them happy, and respecting the other´s way of life of course... for me any of them is good if u dont hurt anyone doing what u want to do.
But people can´t talk badly about something that they don´t even know... i chose to live this way of life and i dont hurt anybody doing it. I want to apply real Islam, and be consecuent with my actions ... and i´d never let anybody play with my ideas, i live my Islam ,what i read and learn from holy Quran and i don´t hurt anybody doing it, its my life, my decisions.

Tomorrow i´ll call my angel again, im truly dying to hear her sweet voice once more :P i called her almost everyday during this week... i really can´t live without hearing her... she´s my drug, my reason to keep waking up every morning. In some days i´ll go with my parents to spend a week in Mallorca ( you know one of the spanish mediterranean islands ), i wish i could be with her, going there and thinking how would be if i could be with her, it kills me.
Nothing is the same now, i can´t enjoy things like i used to. I mean before knowing her i was feeling tooooo alone in this world and i took refuge on the things i liked, but now that i found her the only thing i want is to share things with her, to be at her side, and everything seems meaningless.

Soon I´ll have to go to the office of the travel agency they told me to go on 16th of August to sign the contracts, lets see what are the conditions and when do i start finally, the truth is that i really want to start working, i just hope i do fine :).

Avast ! now is late and i think i should go to bed mateys, just be ready goin´ on the account for our next meetin´ and beware of not gettin´into Davy Jones´locker !!!


YO HO HO...

As a promised...

Ohhhhh and now look at those cakes :P they were dedicated to me and my baby hehehe look the two little characters its me and she ;D

Birthday boy !!!

YES ! finally i´m here after some days without giving signals that i´m still alive hehehe... you thought you were getting rid of me..but nooooooooooo way !!!

A little late but yes here is a picture from my birthday party with my family :) aren´t they cute???( Oh I´ll try to post it later now it doesn´t let me I don´t know why ) . 25 years wow time runs, we had a really good time..specially when they all started singing " cumpleaños feliz " :P oh i´m still like a child what can i do, they say that what matters is the spirit you have inside... and i think i still have the spirit of a 13 years old child, and i hope i can keep it for my whole life.

ehhhhh first of all I want to thank aaaaaaaaaall the people who thought of me that day, thank u so much to all of you, i loved the gifts, the messages the cards ...EVERYTHING, thank u so much specially to Alex ( I looooooooooved your arabic lamp thank u so much, well after all this years you´re always there thank u thank u ), Javi... I hope you´re having a great summer ( i hope not too many parties eh??? hehehe ), to Elena and Nuria of course... :D my pirate costume is complete thanks to u both, well and to many others hehehe but as they dont read this blog :P i guess i don´t have to waste space here hehehe they know perfectly who they are. It means a lot for me to know that people think of me that way, that they remember me...well yes even if i´m a mess with the calling thing and that stuff :P i guess many of them want to kill me because i´m not very good at calling heheh but never think i forget you all, you´re always in my heart.

Second I want to thank my baby with all my heart because even separated from her, she turned that day, in the begining a sad day because i didnt have her, into a woooooonderful day.... you made me cry as a child eh??? is all your fault and i love u so much sooooooooooo much habibi.

The truth is that i dont have much to tell about these days... i didn´t do anything special, some days are harder than others because of well you know the hard sensation of not having what i need the most, that only can be overcome when i talk to my angel.
These days i´m watching some series that i like a lot , specially about mysteries and science fiction aaaaaaaaaaaaand I´m counting the days until Pirates of the Caribbean : the dead man´s chest " is released at last , only 3 more days and TACHAAAAAAAAANN!!. As you can see I love pirate stories :P what can i do since i was a child i´ve always been obsesed with adventures and strange and fantastic worlds, and my favourite book ever was " TREASURE ISLAND " :P I think if someday i have a child inchallah i´ll drive him/her crazy with all my stories!.

I´m lazy to write more today hehehe..but I think i´ll answer the test my dear Ayalguita had on her blog ;) here it goes :

1. What is your middle name? Moisés...

2. How big is your bed? ehhh not big enough :)

3.What are you listening to right now? the sound of the fan... its too hot !!

4. What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?0068

5. What was the last thing you ate? oh too bad... an omelette, tuna , cheese and salad :P

6. Last person you hugged? i think ehhh ...mum

7. How is the weather right now? hot toooo hot !! even at night

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? mum

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes, smile... the way of talking, if its a good person or not thats the most importtant for me...

10. Favorite type of Food? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

11. Do you want children? if i want?? are you joking I LOOOOOOOOOOVE THEM

12. Hair color? dark blonde

13.Do you wear contacts? nope

14. Favorite holiday? eeeevery each of them !

15. Favorite Season? Fall , I´ve always loved it

16. Have you ever cried over a love lost? mmm nope but cried thinking i could lose it

17. Last Movie you watched? mmm Alone in the dark, i downloaded it yesterday ;)

18. What books are you reading? " Los clamores de la tierra " and " El diablo y los corsarios de Argel"

19. Piercings? nope

20. Favorite Movie? Indiana Jones ,Dark cristal, Laberynth, Aladdin, Lord of the rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, uff .... many !

21. Favorite college football team? OOOOOH NONE, I hate football :P

22. What were you doing before filling this out? Writting on this blog are u blind???

23. Favorite animal? Horses...and dolphins :D

26. Favorite drink? ummmmm.... apple juice :PPP

27. Favorite flower? ehhh i think a Rose

28. Have you ever loved someone? yep with all my heart... right now

29. Who would you like to see right now? my angel :(

30. What color are your bedroom walls? ehhh light yellow

31. Have you ever fired a gun? nooooooooooo i hate them...well i like swords :P

32. Do you like to travel by plane? yep i love it

33. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right handed althought i tried with the left ...too difficult hehehe.

34. If you could go to any place right now where would you go? anywhere where i can be with my baby.

35. Are you missing someone? YEEEEEEEEEEEEES TOO MUCH

36. Do you have a tattoo? no no no

37. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? YES :P on Saturday , Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday , Friday...what can i say i´m a child :D

38. Are you hiding something from someone right now? mmm nope

39. Are you 18? nooooooooo 25 :) recently

40. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? ehhhh don´t laugh... its a sheep ;P

41. Are you afraid of the dark?mmm not really things can happen also during the day...and many times horrible ones.

42. Favorite hangout: A quiet place where you can chat, and have a good time with the people u love.

43. 3 things you can't live without? LOVE, COMPRENHENSION , aaaaaand LOVE again.

44. Favorite songs? " Have you ever really loved a woman "

45. What are you afraid of? mmm of losing the ones i love, of people changing, of not beign a good person and don´t do the right things...of the craziness of human beigns and violence.

46. Are you a giver or a taker?A giver of course... sometimes too much

47. What are your nicknames? Youyou, Moi.. Peter pan..hehehehe and Hobi and habibi of course....thanks to my baby.

48. What is your dad's middle name? Manuel :P

49. What do you sleep in? hey what a question hehehe on summer just in shorts and in winter with my pijama :))

50. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing? the person i love

51. Favorite TV commercial? ehhh i don´t remember i don´t usually pay attention to them :P

52. First thing you'll save in a fire? The people i love of course

53. What is your favorite color? Blue and Green

54. What are the things you always bring with you? mmm my wallet and the keys of home hehehe

55. What did you want to be when you were a kid? An Archeologist, and a teacher or maybe an Explorer...

56. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on? mmmm strange question I guess i go to see why it turns on.

57. What color is your bedsheet? In this moment.. blue and green

58. Who do you want to meet? Indiana Jones hehehe yes I know it´s imposible :P

59. What do you think about before you go to bed? what do i think of...I think of my baby, I think of how wonderful universe is and i think of God.

Covered with the wings of an angel

Everyday i feel how much she loves me... everyday more and more , and each day i realize that i´m nothing without her love she makes me so happy, she makes me feel so loved so needed. I simply can´t find the words to express what she makes me feel.

These are hard times for her i know it and it kills me that she has to suffer because of the only sin we comitted...to love each other. All i want is that she understands that whatever happens i´ll always be with her and i´ll always support her and of course i´ll always always take care of her.

I know she feels like trapped in her own cage... her own house, i just wish i could free her wings, that we could discover the whole world together without fears, beign free to love each other, and never be scared of laugh, or kiss, or touch each other... i know that time will come we just need to be pattient, we need to avoid problems as much as we can until she´s free of her studies and then we´ll start our life together.

She´s like a drug... a wonderful one ... i need to hear her voice all the time...i need to hear that sweet " te quiero , te quiero , te quiero " that always lit my heart with the purest light and joy. I need to hear her smile, that wonderful smile that takes my breath away, that kisses she sends me through the phone, that " habibi " that makes me feel the happiest man on earth, I need it all and i need it all the time. Everyday i miss her more and more , i need her more and more and i love her more and more. I never felt something like this before i never thought it could ever happen to me, i feel so lucky.

My birthday is in a couple of days... i wish i could be with her, the best gift i can have is beign with her, my only wish and dream. It´s imposible, at least for the moment but since i can´t see her smile again at least in some time... i´ll be able to hear her, that will be a wonderful gift and even if it´ll be a sad day because i can´t have what i need the most i know that she´s always with me, always.
I´d write pages and pages, and i´d try to find the most wonderful words to express what she makes me feel but i guess i´d never be able to find a simple word that can describe what i have here inside of my poor heart, and i don´t want to bore you... i just thought that i needed to express this because i feel happy i feel truly happy and the most importtant i feel sooooooooo loved.

These are just a few words from a crazy man completely in love with an angel...